Rant: A flaw I have

Hey there!

This isn't one of my relationship post series, but it has everything to do with relationships and a lot to do with myself. I'm being really vulnerable and transparent in sharing this, but it's a journey for me and so it's something I'd like to share.

You see, I have a problem. I have several problems but today I'm gonna share one.

Quoting my sister, "You don't have a lot of flaws, but the few flaws you do have are ones that are difficult to change". I'll be the first to admit this, but I'm not very flawed. In fact, one of my strengths is changing to be better - and that would explain why I am generally a very pleasant person to have around... I make a very lovely daughter, a wonderful sister, a best friend and probably a great girlfriend. Okay, 'how is that a flaw?', you may wonder. Truth is, I sometimes don't know myself. How is wanting to be the best that you can be a flaw? I don't know.

But my flaw is wanting (attempting, desiring, longing) to be perfect.

It started many years ago. I was quite a nasty person - inside and out. When I was in my early teen years, I was rather mean and not very pretty either. However, because of the bullying and realising that others are actually humans with feelings and a heart, I started to change. I became more aware of the feelings of others, not just a little bit, but I actually became caring. I became all these nice things and started to be a nice person inside and out. It was really timely, as puberty hit me, I actually looked better, as my insides became more attractive, so was I on the outside.

That's when I realised that changing for the better is always something I should aim for. It started small where I would develop traits that most people would consider as nice. But it got really addictive that I started finding myself actively intending to change to be what others would consider as perfect. The descriptions of what other guys would describe as a great girl, or a girl describing the ideal best friend, or aunties and uncles describing what a good child should be like - anything and everything I mentally noted and my heart started pursuing that.

Oh, I was also growing in God at the same time. He worked through and within me. And I definitely am a different person today compared to 4 years ago because of Him. A lot of my values, beliefs, the core of who I am, my experiences, journey and growth is all because of Him.

But as I grew and changed with God, the desire to be perfect was still something that was stuck in my heart... and although I've tried my best to not be perfect, I see little traces of this flaw come alive.

3 years ago, when my last relationship ended, my ex-boyfriend told me that I was a perfect girlfriend. And that I deserved someone better, and that he wasn't good enough for me, etc. Funnily enough, I believed him. Not so much the fact that he wasn't good enough or that I deserved someone better, but I actually believed that I was a perfect girlfriend because that was literally what I aimed for. However, he also said it in a way that was negative. That I actually had a problem, that I wanted to be perfect and that came through in how I carried myself. I thought he was ridiculous. Because how is being perfect actually a bad thing? It makes no sense.

A few weeks ago, I went to see my campus speech therapist because I wanted to have correct pronunciation. English is my first language, but because I am a Malaysian that partially grew up in New Zealand, I have a foreign accent (to Malaysians) and actually pronounce some things differently (to New Zealanders). I am also studying to be a primary school teacher, so to me, it's important to be able to read accurately and pronounce words exactly how they're supposed to be pronounced. However, when I met my speech therapist, it felt more as if I was meeting a counsellor. She said there was nothing wrong with my speech, and that I probably wanted to perfect everything because of my cultural background(?). In which I knew it definitely wasn't from my cultural background, because I just want to have correct pronunciation for my sake, not because my culture says we have to ace everything and be perfect.

Then very recently, I've been going through something this year that leads to anxiety. In which my close friends know about, and they concluded that if anything, it's probably my mentality that's affecting me, not my physicality. In other words, one of my best friends actually said that because she knows the kind of person I am, I am a perfectionist and that affects my situation negatively.

Side note, the perfectionist they're all referring to isn't the typical generic type of making sure everything is detailed and right; but it's the desire and mentality I have to be the best that I can be, in their words - a 'perfectionist', someone who wants and expects to be perfect.

Due to my anxiety, I went to see my church counsellor. After evaluating my situation for a while, she mentioned that because everything is going pretty good for me in life (as in every aspect of my life), it's probably not a sudden circumstance or my family background that has influenced my 'perfectionist' mentality. Rather, it has a lot to do with self-esteem and self-acceptance.

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I write this because I'm currently dealing with a situation that shows just how right they are. That yes, I have a problem. And my problem is wanting to be perfect.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe that wanting to be the best that I can possibly be is a good aim and it is still something I will constantly work towards, but I see this perfectionism come alive as a demon too.

For example, one very flawed mentality I currently hold is that I need to look (almost) perfect before I get into a relationship. I've been feeling rather miserable today because physically, I feel like I'm not good enough. You know what that sounds like to me? It sounds like someone is taking the place of God in my life.

I've always been a people-pleaser kinda person. Not to the point where I fall into peer pressure and do silly things, nor is it sucking up to people in order for them to like me. You see, it all links to that mentality of wanting to be perfect, especially to people I selectively choose to be on the receiving end.

A very personal example for me, but when I was in a relationship, I did things with my boyfriend then out of the desire to please him. It wasn't his fault, he didn't manipulate me into it and it was purely my choice to act on things from a flawed mentality. In a relationship, there are 3 possible desires: To please your partner, to please yourself or to please God.

I guess if I was honest, I do fear to be in a serious official long-term relationship. I'm afraid of being vulnerable, as open as a person I am. I'm scared to love again, I don't want to lose another person and I'm terrified of being hurt.

I don't expect the person to be perfect, but I expect myself to be. And so before I do get into my next relationship, I hope I no longer hold this flaw.

I don't know what to say, my post has no solution to my problem; it doesn't have an end, because it's just something I'm facing currently.

But I can tell you my next steps! My next steps will be to trust in God, to look to Him for my identity, to guard my heart, to do things His way, to focus on pleasing Him - not anyone else or myself. Until then, I'll keep you posted :)

10 things to do

Hey guys!

Update:

End of last week-early this week has been quite a rough one for me; as you could probably tell in my last 2 posts.. then the posts stopped. So what happened? Well, this happened:

Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Crazy, huh? A verse changed my whole roller-coaster of a mood? Well, not just a verse.

I had to choose to set my mind on things that are true, honourable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. So I just chose to move forward and think good things. So here I am.

And here is a good place. Here is a fresh start, here is a brighter and more joyous place.

I'm doing better than okay.

-

With that, there are many things I want to do. Here are 10 of them:

1. I want to do some exercise every single day. 

It can be taking a 30min walk from a further stop, some simple stretches with awkward body twists/movements, an attractive online work out or even a good 15mins HIIT run. Or even a (secret) crazy dance session. But I want to do something daily.

2. I want to attend all my classes & be at least 5 minutes early.

This week was the first week back at uni, and let's just say I skipped 3 already. Yeah, not good. Okay fine, so I was sick - but still! It's a terrible habit of mine and I'm always late for class :C But not anymore, starting next week, I will try my best to be not just on time, but at least 5 minutes early. Oh, and attend all my classes unless I'm feeling unwell.

3. I want to stop comparing, and start caring.

Can I share with you a nasty secret? Every time someone else is called 'pretty', something nasty inside of me starts to feel a bit.. bad? It doesn't show, but I feel it. I start to feel the insecurities creeping up, the unintentional ill feelings/thoughts that create a hole that is deep and dark.. I want to stop comparing myself to someone else. I want to care for things that do matter: like one's heart, well-being, life and surrounding. Without neglecting my own, but caring for others more than I would for myself.

4. I want to be (more) grateful.

Here's another troubling thought I had recently. My dad booked my flight back to Malaysia for me recently. And it's via AirAsia. *dum dum dum dum. Maybe I'm spoilt, lack gratefulness or am just conceited, but I haven't sat AirAsia in awhile, expected/desired something more and I just really hate leather seats!! I caught myself at such a bad thought, because I should be grateful that I have the opportunity to fly back to see my family. Like so many people don't even get that chance to? And here I am, complaining I have flights back stuck with leather seats (yuck). I need to and I want to be more grateful. For the little and the much.

5. I want to experience 'impossible' things

They say being a Christian means living everyday like an adventure. Every single day, we should be expecting something great. God's greatness. A miracle. A revelation. But more often than not, we as Christians don't. What's the problem? I don't know, because I'm one of those Christians. I don't experience His greatness everyday, nor have I witnessed a miracle in my life or a life-changing revelation. I think it's me though, not God. I'm too caught up with sleeping, going to university, seeing my friends, making small talk with my flatmates, cooking/eating, playing tetris and listening to random music while I commute, that I don't stop to experience God. I barely give him 30mins full concentration every. single. day. Heck, I barely give him my full 15mins daily. Also, I don't ask for miracles. I think my mundane is comfortable and you know, my usual. But I don't want my usual anymore! I want the crazy, God-filled, WOW kinda Christian life. I want to stop praying for small prayers that limits God because I'm trying to 'protect my image of Him'. I want to push the boundaries of my faith, let it jump off an invisible cliff and soar in His sovereignty and captivating spirit. 

6. I want to give my best in my studies

Last semester, I got straight Bs. Many people think that's pretty 'good'. Maybe it's an automatic consolation or they truly think it's good. If it's the latter, maybe people should strive for this goal too. If it's the previous, then maybe people should be more honest. It's my worst grade since I started succeeding in my academics back in 2013. It's not bad, considering I skipped many classes, didn't give my best and barely studied effectively for my exams. Horrible, I know, but apparently not too bad. Now, if I knew I gave it my all and the best I could, and got Cs, I wouldn't be as disappointed as I would about myself. Okay, who am I kidding, Cs are terrible! I'd maybe shed a tear. But maybe just one or two. Point is: It's my attitude in this, not just the results.

7. I want to serve.

I'm currently contemplating on applying for committee for OCF (Overseas Christian Fellowship). OCF is a Christian uni' club I go to weekly and am quite active in. I currently co-lead a bible study group and it's my 2nd semester leading! There are 2 positions I'm praying about applying, but yet I'm quite hesitant. If I get into committee, I will be in it for about a year. I think I'm being selfish though. I don't want to give too much. I think there's a possibility I'd fail. I'm scared I will get cold feet after committing. And all these random bunch of selfish reasons. But you know what? I want to serve. I want to give especially my next (and last) 1 year of my covenant to serve in OCF (if it's God's will) without distraction and just love on the people around me. I also want to serve in my church, maybe as a service host or in kids' ministry, hm.

8. I want to appreciate my family & friends.

I'm quite my mum's girl. I skype my mum a whole lot. But recently, I haven't been speaking to my parents as often as I usually would. Sometimes, I do think about today being my last day, and whenever I do, my family comes to mind first. I'd hate to have regrets if anything were to happen, and I would like to use my everyday to appreciate my family more. Message them daily, tell them I love them, actually appreciate them from the bottom of my heart, set aside time to talk to them, etc. Sometimes I also take for granted my friends. I think we have like the next few months/years to go. Even worse (imo), I think I'll be seeing them tomorrow or next week. But really, nothing should be taken for granted. If I have the opportunity to speak blessings and love to them, I really should. And I will.

9. I want to develop a prayerful life.

I tend to pray when I want something. #human nature. I also pray when I feel deeply. But I don't want prayer to be just when I feel like it. I want prayer to be also when I don't feel like it. I want my prayers to be deep, powerful, intimate, strong, short & long and life-changing.

10. I want to encounter God & bring His presence to everybody!

You know that person you sit to on the bus, or that person you just met? I feel like those people are people placed in our lives for no apparent reason, but yet, with very special reasons. Reasons that can be opportunities. I always hear interesting stories of strangers talking and all, and I would really like to do that. I want to carry a Jesus culture within me everywhere I go, whenever and with whoever. I want to experience God so deeply and greatly, that it's contagious. Even more contagious than the cold that's been around and even better than the best meal I could ever dream of having. I mean imagine eating THE BEST THING YOU'VE EVER TASTED, I don't think you would keep it to yourself. It's like that, just more and better. Or even more relatable, discovering the cure to something so dark, miserable and life-consuming, imagine that! How could you keep the best cure to yourself, when there are so many broken people around you?

And there's that! Oh. A bonus one: 11. I want to blog more.

My first practicum experience!

Hey there!

Exams are done and dusted, and I have just completed my first practicum!
Now, you may be wondering, "What's a practicum?". A practicum is like practical work.
As I am studying to be a teacher, my practical work includes me going to assigned schools with tasks and requirements I am expected to complete.

The last 2 weeks have been quite hectic - with exams and practicum around the same period. Surprisingly, I managed to go through it all feeling better than 'fine'. Exams were average. I didn't do as good as an A, but I managed to exceed 'just pass'.

Without further ado, I'll be writing about my practicum experience!

Honestly, practicum is not easy. I have a couple of friends who told me their bad experiences with ATs (associate teachers) and VLs (visiting lecturers) involving tears and being scarred with not being competent or not meeting appropriate standards. I met a girl recently who failed her practicum during her first year, so she is now studying ECE (Early Childhood) because apparently it's 'easier'.

The fears are very much present. You have to meet requirements, complete tasks to an acceptable level, have a professional relationship with your AT and be qualified in the eyes of your visiting lecturer. Beyond that, you have a whole class to manage every single day. Not for an hour or two, but almost 8 hours daily. Apart from school hours, you have to set time for planning and marking. The list is endless. And I'm just getting started with university students becoming a 'teacher-to-be' and juggling routines of full-time students - YES, we have exams, assignments and studies to do too.

And my parents said being a teacher was easy. Boy, you have no idea.

(NOTE: From what I have learnt so far, nothing is easy. They say medicine is difficult, yes, I believe it is. But so is education. So is studying music. So is engineering, architecture, linguistics and so on. Everyone is so different in many ways; abilities, lifestyle, decisions and habits.. even the way we think and understand information varies, so how can we categorise one thing to be the 'best' and the 'hardest' when we do not have the capability to do what everyone does?)

I entered my first year of education thinking it'll be easy. Boy, I was wrong.

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One thing I lacked stepping into university was purpose. (It wasn't the only thing I lacked btw). I didn't have a purpose for why I chose what I study, but I had reasons.

My parents thought a teaching degree would be perfect for me. They thought it suited me. They said it was within my capabilities. They drew a plan for me.

The plan looked something like this: Easy degree, high demand; Easy start up, high return; (LOL, I sound like a commerce student - I was). My dream was to be a housewife. They figured I should be independent with my own business in education but flexible enough to decide my working hours to fulfil that dream.

It was a good dream, but it was a lacking dream.

Why? Because I didn't actually want to study education. I didn't like teaching. I didn't want to be a teacher. I didn't feel like I had a purpose in what I wanted to do (teaching) and I didn't find joy or fulfilment in it.

Not until this practicum.

During this recent practicum, these are some of the things I learnt:

1. Teachers have to be an all-rounder (ideally). 

During one of our classes, we watched a video on what children expect from 'what makes a good teacher?'. Good teachers (according to children) are to be intelligent, good-looking, fun, smiley, friendly, able to help, caring and many things in between.

In a way, it's true. We are expected to know a little (or more) about everything. We teach Maths (okay, that one we need to know quite a lot about), Science, Reading/Writing, Language (English & Maori) and we have HPE (Health & Physical Education) too. On top of that, we need to be able to engage in Arts and be able to plan for creative activities.

Time-management and organisational skills are key to not being messed up - oh no, we can't afford a mess. Least we need to have the skill to clean up that mess before Block 2 comes around.

Don't you forget leadership skills. You have about 30 followers on a daily basis and you literally lead them from one thing to another.

Throw in life-skills of dealing with children's drama and attitude problems. While you're at it, you better have some psychology up your sleeves; because a child's wellbeing is essential and you're responsible for being aware of problems they may be facing at home or at school. Pretty much their lives as long as you're their teacher.


2. Teachers have the capability to change lives.

This was one of the reasons I had in mind when I applied for my course. I wanted to influence lives. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to be that teacher that believes in Tom when no one else did. I wanted to be that teacher that showed Samantha what beauty meant. I wanted to be that teacher that Tamati could rely on. I wanted to be that teacher that helped Xiao Yun when she was struggling. I wanted to change lives, whether that meant a little push to get on the right track or hard work that required time. I wanted to be a teacher that changed lives, and I still do.

As a teacher, you're placed in a class for the whole year, and boy, have you spent 8 hours (and sometimes more) with a child for almost a year? You really get to know them - and sometimes, way more than you would like to.

The school, they say, could be a child's 'safe place'. It could be their getaway and their break from home. We, as teachers have the capability to teach a child in a way he/she should go. And that way means to guide them on a path based on their uniqueness and individuality.

3. Teachers learn double the amount they teach.

Teachers teach - that's just what we're supposed to do. Being on practicum didn't make me realise how much I was able to teach, but rather how much I am able to learn. Teachers are practically life-long (sometimes self-taught students). We're constantly learning. Learning what we have learnt before, learning what we need to know, learning what we don't know and learning even when we don't intend to learn. We learn what we have to teach. We learn from students all the time.

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There's so much I'd like to say, but I can't seem to write all of them now. However, I can honestly say that I have enjoyed myself a whole lot. It's been really tiring, but it's been really exciting. I was super duper nervous prior to my practicum, and now I left feeling like I have squished these lovely children into a special place in my heart.

I found myself tearing up while singing cultural songs with the kids, and grinning from one end of my cheek to the other watching them singing and answering questions. That's when it hit me. I love what I do.

update: now

Hello!

It has been quite awhile, huh.

Recently, I've been sleep-deprived;
not so much because I don't want to sleep,
but my slumbers have been delayed later than I hoped for.
My thoughts running through my day, week, year, life.

I decided to read my blog posts from a year ago, two years ago..
It's funny - the thought of reading my own blog.
But I was pleasantly surprised, and secretly was so proud of each entry.
They captured my little thoughts, my emotions and the season I was in.

So I figured why not, do a mid-year update on me now.

Today was one of those bad days.
You know, looking like crap, feeling like crap;
going to God for strength, joy, life.

I've been rather cranky lately, and often find myself getting weary.
A friend I admire recently shared with me a tip on life.
We have 3 buckets: a physical bucket, an emotional/mental bucket and a spiritual bucket.
To not wear out, he said, we have to make sure those buckets never run low.

I hate to admit this, but there are very few things that make me feel really really terribly crappy;
One of them is looking (or probably feeling) bad.
As in feeling utterly ugly.
In other words, fat. I look fat and I feel fat.
But it isn't just how I think I look, it's a lot of how I feel about how I look.

The second thing that drags me down is being (and feeling) unproductive.
If I waste majority of my day in bed, I guarantee, you'd find me miserable.
I just can't - as much as I love sleep, I can't stay in bed past noon.
I can't not do something productive, even if it's one thing.

I do feel worn now.
I feel empty.
I'm lost.
And (probably) stressed with finals coming in a few days.

My diet (not starving myself, as in my food intake) has been poor.
I don't get sufficient amounts of quality rest/sleep.
I ended my gym membership last week, so the deprivation is hitting me now.
My grades aren't straight A's.
I just don't feel good.

-

Reading what I just wrote shows me how shallow my perception of life is.
Do I think that maintaining a healthy lifestyle, accomplishing my goals, being seemingly intelligent and well-balanced is the key to make me happy?
Then my life is such a waste, no wonder I'm feeling horrible.

I realised when I place my identity, worth, and energy only on these things, it doesn't take long for me to come crashing down.

I'm not a great person. I don't have good discipline.
I can't do it on my own. I'm actually very weak.
I have struggles and many shortcomings.

These 'lows' though, aren't anything new.

In a way, they are such a big reminder that
'Hey Chelsea! You're running down the wrong path.'.
I'm running down the wrong path.

You see,
a balanced diet and an active lifestyle has perks.
But it doesn't define me and it shouldn't be my centre.
(Note to self: Why are you incorporating this into your life?)

my grades and attendance are important.
But that's not where I should put my worth.
(Note to self: What character are you working on in letting this aspect of life thrive?)

-

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Training the body helps a little, but godly living helps in every way. Godly living has the promise of life now and in the world to come.

1 Timothy 4:8

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

A little reminder for myself and you :)

When you find yourself weary, tired or feeling down, reflect on why you feel that way, why you do what you do and if necessary (which is often), change.

Times like now can be rather hectic - finals can be stressful. So when you're lacking or falling short, re-focus, reflect and respond.

Wherever you are, I hope you're at your happiest and doing well.

x

things I need right now

I need..

1. to catch up with my lecture recordings and complete all my readings. Then get started with my exam study plan.

2. to be free; from anxiety, from myself, from my fear of cats, from my fear of people.

3. a stable and consistent sleeping schedule

4. diligence

5. a pair of black jeans

Starting a youtube channel

HEY GUYS!

I know I've been quite absent, but today I would like to share with you about something exciting & something in my heart.

I have started a youtube channel!

My first video is My everyday natural make up routine.

You are welcome to watch it or subscribe to my channel for upcoming videos!

My username is the same as all my social platforms: cheelsealee

Honestly, starting a youtube channel is really difficult.

Put aside the video ideas, talking to a camera, making a good video, editing and having an attractive thumbnail, nice soundtrack, interesting content, decent banner, the list goes on...

what's difficult is stepping out of my comfort zone, it's preparing my heart for failure, for dislikes, for hate comments, for lack of support from my close friends, and so much more.

The struggle is real.

Then, why am I doing this in the first place?

It's a goal of mine to overcome my fear in 2016.

I have set a plan of overcoming my fear of cats, and possibly heights..

then there's a new one, one that doesn't look a lot like a fear;

but don't be fooled, stepping out to start a youtube channel is very frightening.

I do know there will be people talking behind my back; 

I won't say friends, because all my friends are true friends.

I have a distant-friend-acquaintance who is a youtuber, she runs a small channel, but a good one. And it's sad to hear/see her closest - or used to be close friends talk behind her back about her choice of taking a step to do something exciting, new, special and unexpected.

I'm not a youtuber.

I don't have great talents, skills, beauty, ideas or equipment.

But I think everyone has a potential to step out and be that one person.

every. single. person.

You see, there isn't a youtuber who's like you, or like me.

And that is a great thing, if not - one of the best things.

Being different and unique is so vital, because one person can't give it all.

Because one person can't relate to you. Because one person can't have it all.

What I mean is, YOU are worthy.

You are the unique selling point.

You are what makes it worth watching, you are what makes me want to be me.

I'm not a confident person.

Heck, I find myself doubting so many times; in the past, in my present and I'll take my word for it - in my future. I get insecure, at the littlest things, to the most obvious things.

I know there will be gossip in my reality, I know there will be petty comments and mockery. I know there will be judgment and hateful comments. I know there will be that.

But that's the risk I have to take.

That's the risk I want to take.

That's the risk I choose to take.

They say falling in love comes with having your heart broken;

I think that's very much like life.

In every success, there will be a failure.

In every good, there is a bad.

In every love, there is a hate.

In every similarity, there will be a difference.

I may have people I can call my youtube family one day, and I may also have people who are far from that.

But this I predict, in any of my failure or success in terms of me starting this journey:

It will break me;

my pride, my heart, my security.

but in all things, I will always, always return to the one who gives me hope and trust, in whom my soul is secured.

-

I look forward to begin this journey, I'm excited, nervous and anticipating.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for supporting me.

My first share of my youtube video on facebook/instagram, my friends have been super supportive. I'm so blessed. Thank you for encouraging me.

To those who don't know me but said/thought nice things about it,

Thank you (: It means a lot to me.

Love, love, love.

x

Second home - Adjusted - Part 3

July/August/September -

Around 6 months + back, and it sure is better!

Like all my previous transfers, the first few months were crap.

I remember hating my first 3 months back in KK, and had a really hard time for my first 5 months back in NZ. But now, all is well;

The last term has been rather eventful! I had the opportunity to work different jobs, make better friendships, reunite with old mates properly, found a better group of friends at school and so forth!

Below are the updates from the last 3 months. We shall start with food photos!
(Camp will be on a different post)

Let's begin!

Meal I had before going to camp at Nishiki!

dessert is cold stone ice cream with Judy at Mellow!

Quick sushi meal in between work from Sushi Pac!

Fettuccine and Carbonara from Eliot's Stables!

Tater tots and cheesecakes from Frasers!

More cheesecakes from Frasers! I had the one on the right, Baileys cheesecake with whipped cream!

More sushi pac for lunch!

Banoffee Pie from Celsius!

expensive chocolate from Tach hehe

Massive portion of kebab on rice at Kebab stall from Mt Eden!

Beef slice noodles from Shao lin!

Chinese pancake (that tastes like roti canai) from Shao Lin!

Lamb dumplings from Shao Lin!

Dark Chocolate pancake from No1 Pancake! SO good!

More sushi pac sushi ft chocolate pancake at the back!

Bannsang Wine pork ssamgyupsal

$5 kebab on rice yeh

vietnamese rolls!

Chicken cutlet on noodles from Jstea!

More Bannsang!

Bingsu from Mellow!

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My UMSA sports group for reorientation - we won everything!! #teamwork

My A+ Boardgame in the making!

Em and Ju are me guinea pigs

draft boardgame

Atiqa and bare-faced me

With Chae :D

Surprise birthday celebration for Caliandra!

We have another friend, but she doesn't take photos :'(

So she took it for us instead!

excluding friend who can't take photos with us :(

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Judy pudy - old friend!

-

Made 2 of my closest friends a Study survival pack!

formal trial - soz dirty mirror

Tach did my make up - close up on eye make up;

-

Made my first Gong Cha drink: Signature Milk Foam Green Tea!

uniform ft old room

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Tan siblings!!

kathmandu tripling

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Pre-Soiree photos:

Only decent photo of the night - got ready with Abi' for OCF's Soiree!

Abi, myself and Trikki!

Before and After for OCF's Soiree - makeup done by Tach with The Body shop make up!

Didn't take a lot of photos at OCF's Soiree, bad lighting and meh.

Surprise gift from Abi!! She wrote on the front/back of all the cards!! So Sweet of her :')

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PCBC: Connect Formal 2015:

compulsory photo at the entrance - with Helen!

My beautiful table : Helen, Bertha, myself, Judy, Kenny, Rachel and Pauline; excluding Charlotte

Judy, Rachel, myself, Bertha and Helen!

with the young ones (Helen, Marco and I not included)

BOTANY (old college) DOWNS REPRESENT :)

Helen, Karis, Cindy, Kenny, Terence, Marco, Isaac, Charlotte, Ivan and Judy!

with Kenny :D

With Judy!

With Aimee!

Post-formal: twinning in stripeys!

With Ingrid!

gorgeous girls!

Charlotte looking like a beauty!

Got an award for my charisma :D

dessert!

Post Formal - the next morning, the bunch of us had yum cha together!

So Connect Formal was a blast, ended up going to Kenny's for post-formal and had a mean as time with a bunch of them; Stayed over 'till 4am and headed to Rachel's after for a sleepover. We couldn't get enough of everyone so decided to meet up the next day for yum cha brunch, spent the entire day talking in a smaller group, went for dinner at Celsius and ended the day with supper with Vincent and Helen! A great weekend indeed!

Garlic Pizza was SO good!

Celsius classic steak!

Banoffeee pie (from the beginning of the post)

With Rachel in the morning :'D

It wasn't planned!

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Loved how we connected so much, we made a Formal group consisting of Marco, Vincent, Kenny, Rachel, Helen and I!

The three of them came over after church and stayed 'till 5.30am!

We got kinda hungry so I made us supper: PB on toast, green tea and korean noodles!

We also surprised Marco with a birthday cake!

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Julius' (and Kelvin's) graduation:

cute photo, twinning shoes!

Kelvin aka ex Science tutor back in my old high school days :P (He tutored me out of school)

Went to a fancy Jap place for dinner, was so yum!!

Chocolates I bought for Ju hehe

karaage chicken was the bomb!

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Flatmate life:

With the tach aka older sister

Surprised Pete as a flat for his birthday!!

Went for a partial flat run with these two!

Planks always leave my head sweating like mad

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Surprise Langham lunch:

So I decided to surprise the siblings (Julius and Emmeline) to a Langham lunch buffet to thank them for helping me settle in and all that they have done for me by making them thank-you cards and delivering it to their work places like a ninja for them to receive an invite to the buffet!

Pre-buffet selfie

All I ate:

Doesn't look like much, but I was so so so stuffed!! I ate the most, Ju' ate one plate less than me. Em' ate way less than us. But overall, it was a decent experience. I miss the honey butter naan bread!!

Visited the Auckland museum by myself just to end the date lel

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Helen Melon after PCBC's combined worship night :)

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visited Em' when she was about to close

latazzzzzzzzzz x