I know I've been quite absent, but today I would like to share with you about something exciting & something in my heart.
I have started a youtube channel!
My first video is My everyday natural make up routine.
You are welcome to watch it or subscribe to my channel for upcoming videos!
My username is the same as all my social platforms: cheelsealee
Honestly, starting a youtube channel is really difficult.
Put aside the video ideas, talking to a camera, making a good video, editing and having an attractive thumbnail, nice soundtrack, interesting content, decent banner, the list goes on...
what's difficult is stepping out of my comfort zone, it's preparing my heart for failure, for dislikes, for hate comments, for lack of support from my close friends, and so much more.
The struggle is real.
Then, why am I doing this in the first place?
It's a goal of mine to overcome my fear in 2016.
I have set a plan of overcoming my fear of cats, and possibly heights..
then there's a new one, one that doesn't look a lot like a fear;
but don't be fooled, stepping out to start a youtube channel is very frightening.
I do know there will be people talking behind my back;
I won't say friends, because all my friends are true friends.
I have a distant-friend-acquaintance who is a youtuber, she runs a small channel, but a good one. And it's sad to hear/see her closest - or used to be close friends talk behind her back about her choice of taking a step to do something exciting, new, special and unexpected.
I'm not a youtuber.
I don't have great talents, skills, beauty, ideas or equipment.
But I think everyone has a potential to step out and be that one person.
every. single. person.
You see, there isn't a youtuber who's like you, or like me.
And that is a great thing, if not - one of the best things.
Being different and unique is so vital, because one person can't give it all.
Because one person can't relate to you. Because one person can't have it all.
What I mean is, YOU are worthy.
You are the unique selling point.
You are what makes it worth watching, you are what makes me want to be me.
I'm not a confident person.
Heck, I find myself doubting so many times; in the past, in my present and I'll take my word for it - in my future. I get insecure, at the littlest things, to the most obvious things.
I know there will be gossip in my reality, I know there will be petty comments and mockery. I know there will be judgment and hateful comments. I know there will be that.
But that's the risk I have to take.
That's the risk I want to take.
That's the risk I choose to take.
They say falling in love comes with having your heart broken;
I think that's very much like life.
In every success, there will be a failure.
In every good, there is a bad.
In every love, there is a hate.
In every similarity, there will be a difference.
I may have people I can call my youtube family one day, and I may also have people who are far from that.
But this I predict, in any of my failure or success in terms of me starting this journey:
It will break me;
my pride, my heart, my security.
but in all things, I will always, always return to the one who gives me hope and trust, in whom my soul is secured.
I look forward to begin this journey, I'm excited, nervous and anticipating.
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for supporting me.
My first share of my youtube video on facebook/instagram, my friends have been super supportive. I'm so blessed. Thank you for encouraging me.
To those who don't know me but said/thought nice things about it,
Thank you (: It means a lot to me.
Love, love, love.