Friday, July 3, 2015
My heart breaks, or to be exact - continues to break.
Memories flash my mind when I'm sober, takes over me when I slumber;
My heart aches, at a memory long gone, and the feeling sinks in, I feel so alone.
The feeling of loneliness sweeps by, visits me like the wave crashing the shore,
a wave crashing over me.
I drown, in a pool so deep;
Darkness corners me, and slowly it strangles the life out of me.
The life in me, fading ombre against the darkness..
I catch a breath, I gasp for air, for love.
The ones I love failed me.
But like me, they're faulty.
They - we, were meant to fail.
Humans alone, we will fail.
The darkness closes in, closing in;
I search for what's convenient:
A temporary escape of endorphins,
Sustenance to dance on my tongue that will fill me,
Entertainment for a distraction.
My heart weighs heavy,
My mind suffocating with concerns,
My soul dejected,
My spirit dry..
I turn to you,
I cry in silence,
I place my hope in you,
I trust in your words,
I cast my cares on you,
I remember the sea (of life) calm;
Weren't you the one who rebuked for its silence?
I remember the night(s) where I was brokenhearted;
Weren't you the one who was by my side?
I remember when my worth was hurt;
Weren't you the one who restored me?
I remember when I lacked;
Weren't you the one who gave me willingly, much more than I could ask or imagine?
You were, You are, You will - always.
Your promise, your word never fails.
So, this is me - sinking in my life, having my light covered in darkness, having my joy sucked out of me.. I choose to remember you, I choose to believe in you. You will come through for me, again and again.
I will not fear, I will not worry, I will not cry, for you have it all under control.
I will rejoice, I will hope, I will trust, I will love - for you have given me the will to do so.