Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Pure Bliss

Touch the sky is a wonderful song, I request that you listen to it :)

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore."

- Psalm 121

This is a life update, 12AM, Wednesday June 17th, 2015.

I feel so happy right now, I feel like crying.
Crazy, right? And nothing even happened.
This is a kairos moment, a God-moment.

Over a few weeks ago, Kota Kinabalu, my hometown had an earthquake. 
The lives of several were lost, but majority of the residents are alright.
The earthquake probably stirred up some things;
prayers, prophecies, warnings, fear, awakenings, perhaps even nothing.

This isn't an update or condolence to what has happened.

This is a life update, to tell you what's been happening with me.
This, I hope, at least, will instil in you hope, love, joy and purpose.

So it's been a bit more than four months since I moved back to New Zealand.
Though the number 4 seems little, I assure you, the past four months has literally been life-changing for me.

Many times I found myself frustrated, mixed feelings, and on good days, happy.
I even lived a day as a non-christian, believe it or not.
It was the worst day of my life, no joke. Completely depressing, however, I'll leave that for another post.

Recently, as I started to take a step back, to look at my surroundings;
the sky, the buildings, people, taking my time to walk, to breathe, to feel, to think.. 
I found something really great.

I found God.
No, I didn't see Him. I didn't hear an audible voice, I didn't touch Him.
But.. I found joy. I found life. I found goodness. I found hope.
And it has left me vulnerable and so in awe of him, so much that I long to experience that every single time, every single day.

I won't kid you, I don't live every day of my life happy.
I cry to myself sometimes, and I don't even let anyone know, or hear.
But I'm not here to seek your pity or your scoffing.

In fact, I find joy in the mundane, the everyday.
My blogpost on my birthday, the one where I listed 19 things I was grateful for.. yeah, I'm not gonna have you think of me as an angel.
It was one of the most horrible birthdays I have ever had.
I cried several times, and even any ordinary day was better than that day I turned nineteen. No, it wasn't because I was another year older.

I was really upset because I was disappointed. 
I won't elaborate on it further, 'least not for now, because it's personal for me.

But I'm here to share about my joy after that and before that.

I'm not the happiest person alive, but I can be a happy Chelsea.
My goal: to be joyful in any circumstances (the good, the mundane and even the bad).
It's a difficult goal, I'm sure.

But yeah! I'm here to let you guys know that I am happy, not because of certain circumstances. But I find my greatest joy to be at times like this, where my gladness is in God.

In whatever circumstance you're in, I hope that you find that joy as well.

Finally, for my friends and acquaintances, or even strangers in KK,
I find the Psalm 121 (the verse above) to be very suitable.

Have a great week guys, I will update my blog soon.
(My about me, my contents, my intentions of this blog, etc)

love & joy, and hugs,

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