Life disguised

Her body lays there like a plain display.
My heart sank as I look back at all the other times I rejected her embrace or simply took it for granted.

I held her hands; frail and cold. She gives me a weak smile, and I try my best to return a supportive one.
But she can see right past me, and sorrow fills her eyes.
She gave me an assuring look, as if I was the one in need.

My everyday probably consists of inaccurate presumptions.
Mockery and chatter are all that goes around. They don't know me,
not even the ones who surrounds me daily.

If I had to name one thing I was great at, it would be the mask I wear, and the role I play.
I make a convincing lie.

My conversations are empty. In and out the people go, hi and bye it often seems.

I see through their motives and my walls are higher than before.

I used to be happy and free. The go-lucky-type, that was me.
I don't know what happened,  but it all faded away.
My thoughts are in a vault and I alone have the key.

A family, I may seem to have. But does it count, when love lacks?
Cold silence entwines in separate lives, cut in halves what's supposedly one.

I have charm and beauty. But it varies, it changes like how people often do.
We all have beauty, with a beast that shines through.

Money buys my happiness. Life without currency is one impossible to grow.
We all exchange our happiness for another.

I speak gibberish. In my writing are my feelings jumbled up at midnight.
Purposefully, I write with a story.
A made up exaggerated one, inspired by my thoughts and circumstances.

And I start off with a flood in my heart, and end up elsewhere.
Somewhere far far away, in a land where none of us can really truly discover.

So this life disguised, can you identify?