Penpal

HI.

So..... I made Penpal.
That's how lonely I am. hahaha. jokes. but no, seriously.
It's a website to meet people around the world and write to them, I guess?
A friend of mine met his Singaporean girlfriend through that site.
pft, pfssssh not like I'm looking for a boyfriend. pft pft pfsssssh.. *looks up awkwardly.

haha no seriously though, I'm not. back away. that's right, back away.
My best friend who emails me daily haven't been emailing me back cause she's sick and busy and busy and busy and ah, yeaaaaa. So I figured, hey, why not give this a try.
Usually, I wouldn't give social websites a try because they usually have creeps (point one).

But this website seems trustworthy and reliable.
They have like this blocking list, where if pedo creeps try to message you, you just block.
It's pretty much like a private facebook, just a private international one with an intentional purpose to meet strangers, and writing to them.
HM. But only approving based on taking the risk, and fingers crossing their profile pictures or profile info isn't creepy.

Even on facebook, I made it strictly for people I know. Well, people I've met.
Like if I know the person, but I haven't met the person.
As in "Hi. My name is Bob". "Oh, hi Bob. I'm Chelsea." kinda meet.
Oh, and ofcourse, I have to have a good enough memory or you'll just have to make a memorable impression for me to remember that short introduction, or 'meeting'.

Other than that, I don't like approving friend requests that I haven't met. Maybe it's a purposeful pride issue, I don't know. But yea. Haha.

Anyways, penpal.

So far, it seems pretty trustworthy and reliable. Like they take a day to approve your profile picture just to make sure there aren't any horny or inappropriate pictures. And they have the option to block adult users - you know, just incase.

So pretty much you search for people based on your requirements; Preferred age groups, genders. And then you pretty much scroll through people's photos and if they seem interesting or not creepy, you click on them to see their profile biography. And if they seem more interesting, you can choose to add them or leave a comment on their profile.

They also show how many profile views you get. There is also a block list, just incase you come across some creeps.

So actually, my original purpose for a penpal was because I was curious to how people do these things. Like I mean is it for people who don't have a life? Like seriously. Who thinks of mailing someone across the world, someone you don't know completely. Yaknow? 

Like you should see these hard out penpal-ers. some write handwritten letters that look twice as good as an ordinary one, they even send you nice things at times. They may even decorate the letters. And just the feeling of receiving a handwritten letter across anywhere is just anticipating and exciting. 

I also realized that I love writing. Not just writing like free writing. But I love writing to people. Words of affirmation actually comes in as my first love language; and I have like a whole box filled with a collection of all the letters, cards and cute things people give me.

Writing to someone across the world or just in a neighboring country is very exciting because you get to know someone. You know? some say the best bit of a relationship is when you get to know all about someone.

The chase or the meeting.

You just want to know everything about the person. Their preferences, their likes, their lifestyle; how they're like as a person. It's almost like falling in love with getting to know someone. The anticipation and excitement of something so new.

Well, I thought I'd be really into it. I have a few penpals now, and one which was really friendly. He's also from Malaysia, and for like a few days, we'd send each other long mails and exchange several questions to get to know each other more; but then we started talking on wechat and I stopped replying because well, I know this is not such a nice thing to do, but I don't quite like small talks. Especially with people that I'm not close to. No actually, I just don't like small talks. Like Hi, how are you? how's your day? and that is the only thing you end up getting out of the conversation. Hi. I'm okay, sometimes I'm good. My day wasn't so bad. yours?

Yea, well, these conversation should only be for your exs. That's when it'll actually be interesting.
Hi (from ex)
*oh shit, omg. omg omg.
hey (play it cool girl)
How are you? (say you miss me)
I'm okay. you? (no im actually suffering without you)
I'm good. (good as in the opposite of it)
That's good. (no it's not. you're suppose to be suffering without me)
How's your day? (it should be lonely without me)
good. yours? (so far, bad cause you ruined it asssssssss)
Good too (jokes i want you back)

okay yea no.
It's not that bad.
I don't mind small talks as like a quick start to the conversation.
But not those that ends up boring and typical and nowhere.

Well I stop penpaling, and one of my penpals are like Y u no reply me?!! I'll wait for your reply.
yea no, he doesn't sound as cool as I make him to be. It was more like hey, Chelsea? how are you? why are you not replying me? I will wait for you impatiently. impatiently.
yeaaaaaaaaaa. and the other ones,  my conversation has turned into coldness.
you know, the kinds that consists of only like a few words.

It's terrible. I feel like I'm a terrible person. haha. I get bored easily - no actually, I don't get bored easily. But I get bored of people easily. apparently. I'm not sure. It depends.

What about you?
Do you feel the same about small talks?
Do you think you can date/like someone you've never met before?
Do you get bored of people easily?
Do you still reply conversations that you wish didn't exist?

If you had a penpal like me, would you still bother to look for me or just leave it?

I realise I ranted a whole lot.
Do you guys actually read every word?
If you do, wow. I applaud you.
It's like being stuck in my head.
You're welcome.
in.
You're welcoming.
very.

What am I doing.