Tuesday, April 7, 2015


Distance is hard, they said.
There's something else harder - distancing.
That is, to withdraw.

The kind where you choose to remove yourself,
or when the other decides to detach from the attachment.

That is to say, there is an attachment, no?

I think it's for the better,
because why should I put myself in a place of vulnerability,
of an unnecessary intimacy..
a connection in which I don't see myself in,
with him, in my intentions?

Not because he's not a good person,
but because I know that some part of me can't because he won't.
That we probably wouldn't have ended together anyway.
So, what is the point of continuing something that was purely based on another kind of friendship in the beginning?

There's nothing wrong with being friends.

What's wrong is having him as a rock, a foundation;
The person who brings me a lot of joy and comfort.
So much to an extent that I subconsciously hope to speak my thoughts out to, and eventually do so.
To the point that I actually invest my hours into silences or idle activities.
'invest' - ha, but it was.

From it, I reaped a knowledge of a few attributes I realised I'd like.
I found that I too, had weaknesses I needed to deal with.
For example, I unknowingly felt unworthy of him in a shallow manner.
In that, I found a flaw in my mindset in which I will work on.

Would like be the adjective to this?
Or would feelings be the noun to my expression?

The difference is this;
like is a choice in which I choose to continue feeling and carrying out how I feel, after a situation that would cause emotions
feelings is a consequence of a situation that would cause emotions

In this case, I would say I have the symptoms of feelings.
Not easy to deal with, but possible to rid..

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