Sunday, April 12, 2015


My heart isn't even skipping beats,
it's on a high.
Beaming from cheek to cheek,
I feel weak from the excitement.


'message him'
the random thought appeared in the midst of my devotions

What a delirious thought.

Just a few weeks ago, Easter weekend,
I decided it's about time.

It's been two years and a bit since the end of my first love.

It took a toll on me, if you knew.

If you knew him, you may say the same.

'cause it was complicated and frustrating, the aftermath.

But I told myself it was enough.
I needed to let this go, I gave it to Jesus.
I was free.

So then what is this thought, this random thought?

To cut the story short, I carried it out.

I messaged the last guy I fell in love with,
for the first time, in many failed attempts,
because I felt like I needed to move on.

The need to have closure,
or have answers to why he wouldn't face this didn't even dawn on me.
I didn't want to know, anymore.

I wanted this to be a step to letting go,
to telling him that I never hated him,
and that I forgave him, for his absence and silence..

He replied.

He finally replied properly after those years and months.

Is my God not great?
Feeling: overjoyed, overwhelmed..
So much to the point that I'm grinning and tearing.

God's timing is so perfect.
God is perfect.

I'm ecstatic because I feel free,
free from the burdens I've been carrying.
Jesus took my pain and enabled me to take this step.

That's why I'm in euphoria,
2 years ago I got out of a relationship that meant alot to me.
2 years after (now) I am finally taking a step to moving on.
Fast forward 2 years from now, I'll be 21*.

*Only my close friends would know what that means.

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