Tuesday, December 30, 2014

That man

He's someone smart, probably really smart.
I think he's ambitious.
Maybe a doctor?
An engineer. A lawyer. Or maybe a businessman.
Nah, not a doctor. He needs to have time for you.
He's in that professional job category.
Uh.. fair. Tan, but not too dark. Like, olive?
Godly? Yeah, he has to be godly.
I think he needs to be affectionate. Like, the first one to make the first move?
He dresses well. Really well.
He needs to dress well, but not like over.
Like even if it's casual, it's not exactly casual?
Yeah.. he's fit. Probably decent. Maybe quite good looking.
Fit. Tall.
OH! Yes. He has to be good looking, cause yaknow.. 
Mm.. slightly taller than you.
I think someone sporty. Yeah, someone who loves sport.
He can be funny, but he can also be in deep talks; cause you know, yeah. He HAS to know how to be in deep talks.
Someone gentle, someone really nice.
He needs to accept the fact that you are the type to have your own mindset.
Someone really patient.
He can't be too serious.
You need someone lame. You're too serious.
Maybe glasses, like that smart geeky but good looking look.
Smooth skin, yes.
Nah, not a geek or a nerd. Someone good looking.
Nah, not baby fair. Just a bit fair?
He's like a leader. But he's not controlling.
He needs to understand you.
expressive? Yes, he definitely has to be expressive.

etc etc etc.

That's a compilation of some of the common characteristics that ring through my mind at the moment.

"Okay, so what kind of a person do you see me with?"

or so I would usually phrase it..

"Okay guys, what kind of a person do you guys see [insert name of person who is amongst us] with? Let's take turns!" (I'd say excitedly, and then their smiles would emerge)

It'd usually start with someone I named, and it'll go round.
Trust me, it makes quite THE conversation.

I first asked the question probably a few years back, in New Zealand.
And I won't forget some of the first responses I got.

The reason why I ask:

My brain was convinced it was somewhat a psychological question.

You see.. asking one to describe the type of person they see me with, is indirectly analysing their perceptions of me.

My conclusions (so far) are these:

People would usually describe the person they see you with in three kinda ways..

1. Opposites attract
2. Similarities
3. Compatibility

Let your psychological skills unravel the three points.

It allows you to read the way a person views someone, or in my case, me.
It's interesting. And of course, very addicting.

Like the question "What do you look for in a boyfriend?" or "..a girlfriend?" or "..a partner?" or "..a future spouse?" - you get the idea.

I was asked those questions a lot, and I would ask them pretty often as well.

Until just a few days ago, a friend brought this up;
"Hey Chelsea. You usually ask 'What do you look for in a boy/girl?', how come you didn't ask Anthony?"

Yeah, I kinda stopped asking because it didn't quite matter anymore.
Asking relationship questions automatically makes me interested in a being.
In fact, in leads to me analysing them more than I really need to.

So now you know my secret. No, a secret. hm.

BTW, the paragraphed described early on in my post is not the kind of guy I would describe for myself. They are simply general responses that came to mind from several that I have asked.

But the 'dangerous' thing about this, is the fact that it's true. It's almost true. It's the ideal.
It's what people think would be the most suitable for me. Thus, it may lead to entertaining the idea even more so. Especially for me, I tend to take it as 'signs' & often get really excited about it, because the responses I get from the question are always never disappointing. In fact, quite the opposite.

Today I hear my cousins and sister describe that man (The man that is supposedly suitable for me). My sister is almost often there when this question comes up, and she "OOOH"s and "AAH"s and gives me approving looks because it so seems that every response I get are ideal.

So ideal that I wish there was a man like that.
In fact, I hope the man I end up with is like that.
And I even get my heart racing over some (okay maybe some - [a number] =1) - that one person that seems to match who people think I deserve and vice versa.

And that's scary, and disappointing and wrong in some kind of way.
Because what if that person isn't right for me, and what if this is only limiting my capability of accepting the man that God has intended for me?

What if, right?

Midnight rant. Just a thought.


  1. YASSSSSSS Glasses can sometimes be so hot! Ah <3

  2. Mmmhmmm!! Smart guys are sooo attractive :D