I wonder how people move on from someone else. Is it willingly, or... does it just happen?
When someone else starts replacing your significant other, it's a choice, right?
It's a choice you made to let that person in, to let someone get to know you like the other person did.
It's a choice. It's always been a choice.
When you choose to let someone go, it's your decision. When you love someone, it's your feelings.
Speaking of feelings, are they controllable? Maybe for some, but in my case, maybe not so.
If I know I'm at risk of possibly losing someone, its my choice to choose whether I want to keep it or not. Let's say, if I was in a relationship; And my relationship isn't stable; there are constant arguments, silences, lack of love, the feeling of being taken granted of.. And someone else walks in at that moment, will I not fall for this person, if I let this person in like how I did with the other?
Am I confusing you? Am I confusing myself? I don't know.
I'm not confused. Will it be my fault? For letting this relationship go, when I know it was at risk, and I chose to let someone else in?
Maybe that's why people should know their boundaries. When you know your relationship is not at the best state, don't let someone else close to you. Atleast not close enough to be able to compare them to the other, or to have them talk to you 24/7.. Just not close enough for them to know you, like how the other person had.
Next thing is, taking someone else for granted. I see this happen all the time; in both friendships and relationships. It's like those stages of Strangers, Again. (from Wongfuproductions).
It's true though. The best stage is getting to know someone. The Chase.
For me, it's that feeling of getting a new toy. So new, so interesting, so different, amazing and everything I've wanted. The long late night phone calls, long texts and messages, the simple gestures that gives you butterflies, the smiles, flirting, the content of their words, and just them.
The thing is, most people do their best at this stage. To impress, to make the other person fall for them. It's undeniably the best stage. - For me at least.
It's not a lie when people say those will change. Maybe not completely. But you eventually take advantage of the person, sooner or later. You take advantage of the relationship. Besides, you already have this. You already have him or her. You don't need to try as hard.
But, why not? Does that person not have a choice of walking out on you? They do, don't they? Whether you're in a high school relationship, a serious one, or even marriage. The person isn't entirely yours. They can choose to walk out when they feel hurt, taken advantage of, and unloved.
So throughout your relationship, don't stop trying. Still do the little things that makes that person smile. Because thats part of the reason why they loved you. For how you made them feel.
The things that you do, don't make it a habit, Whether it's daily phonecalls, messages, whatever. Because they can feel it, when the love is going warm, which soon will turn cold.
Maybe that's when the other person stops trying too. And in the end, both stops trying.
And then you look back at the person, and you see them as nothing. Or almost nothing. Just a sad.. relationship. But look back at the chase, when the both of you were at your best. It's a choice you can make, to keep your relationship like that throughout, or have it fade.